Program Note:

Black Petal is inspired by a poem of the same title by Li-Young Lee from his book, Book of My Nights. My aim was to translate the poem into music and to interpret the emotion and themes into a meditative soundscape. For the purposes of this composition, I divide the poem into three sections that align with the work’s three movements.

The poem begins with a character who reminisces about their dead brother, “I keep him under my pillow, a dear wish / that colors my laughing and crying.”  In this first section, the persona speaks of the absence that their brother’s passing has left in their life. It acts as a reminder of the inevitability of death and, in a larger scope, the brevity of life: “He died too young to learn his name. / Now he answers to Vacant Boat, / Burning Wing, My Black Petal.”

The second section is a dialogue between the two in which the brother answers the persona’s questions. This acts as a continuation of the first movement’s themes of death, but the replies lay a foundation for acceptance and reconciliation. “Does someone want to know the way to spring? /” the character asks. “He’ll remind you / the flower was never meant to survive / the fruit’s triumph.”

The final section begins with a sentiment of memory: “He says an apple’s most secret cargo / is the enduring odor of a human childhood.” So long as we allow people to live on in our memories, they are never truly absent; the past, in essence, gives comfort and hope to the present. The character also learns to recognize the cycle of generations that is inherent to existence, which provides a reason to look towards the future. “His voice / weighs nothing / but the far years between / stars in their massive dying, / and I grow quiet hearing / how many of both of our tomorrows / lie waiting inside it to be born.”

In the last few years, I have become comfortable with the idea of death, and I do not desire a legacy or memoir. Knowing I will live on in the memories of the people I care about has always been enough. In writing Black Petal, perhaps I am counteracting this philosophy, but I hope that this piece offers an introspective experience.